Theme:
love, fighting, childish games played by those who know better, and awkwardity.
notes to self:
5/6/9th
textbook
1st person vs 3rd,
Anna, I kind of like first person better. In fact, some of the language you have here really work well.
paragraph ideas:
It'll be a grey-skied day, and the pool water will be cold, and there'll be sweat and chlorine on my skin after the 100 backstroke race. My towel will be slung nonchalantly around my waist, my hair let down from the confinement of my swim cap. You'll be passing by the pool in your basketball uniform, with sweat on your hairline and tired eyes. There'll be a long and awkward eye contact across the 25 meters of pool and a fence. We'll try to break it, but it has a hold on us both. I have a name, you know.
end idea for third person:
(end of last paragraph).
There was the final clack of a key pushed down, the final dot of ink on a page. Cecilia Lauren looked at the page, then at the typewriter's keys, then at the page again. There it was, everything she'd been meaning to tell everyone, but was never able to say, in ink on plain white paper. All her emotional confusion, all her inner conflict, all the lanes of her emotional labyrinth for years and years, so simple as words on a paper. The final period smudged.
Cecilia Lauren (main)
Amy Tsuda
Theme:
love, fighting, childish games played by those who know better, and awkwardity.
notes to self:
5/6/9th
textbook
1st person vs 3rd,
Anna, I kind of like first person better. In fact, some of the language you have here really work well.
paragraph ideas:
It'll be a grey-skied day, and the pool water will be cold, and there'll be sweat and chlorine on my skin after the 100 backstroke race. My towel will be slung nonchalantly around my waist, my hair let down from the confinement of my swim cap. You'll be passing by the pool in your basketball uniform, with sweat on your hairline and tired eyes. There'll be a long and awkward eye contact across the 25 meters of pool and a fence. We'll try to break it, but it has a hold on us both.
I have a name, you know.
end idea for third person:
(end of last paragraph).
There was the final clack of a key pushed down, the final dot of ink on a page. Cecilia Lauren looked at the page, then at the typewriter's keys, then at the page again. There it was, everything she'd been meaning to tell everyone, but was never able to say, in ink on plain white paper. All her emotional confusion, all her inner conflict, all the lanes of her emotional labyrinth for years and years, so simple as words on a paper. The final period smudged.